Tighter
by Emerald-Mask
Summary: He still held her hand.
1. Gone

Hi there, I'm gonna try again!

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima

Summary: He still held her hand.

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Tragedy

Pairings: Negi/Asuna, Slight Kono/Set

A/N: I'm going to see if I can write a better one… maybe.

**Tighter**

"_Don't cry, Negi." _

_Cough._

_He held her hand tighter._

"_B-but, A-Asuna-s-san…"_

"_I'm… not worth… crying over…" _

_Cough. _

_Blood._

"_Stay!"_

_Tighter._

_"No… not… not this time Negi…"_

---

"Magic archer, consecutive blasts, 17 arrows of thunder!"

"Straighten those legs."

"Magic archer, consecutive blasts, 17 arrows of thunder!"

"Keep those arms straight."

"Magic archer, consecutive blasts, 17 arrows of thunder!"

"Louder."

"Master!" Negi groaned putting down his arm, rolling his shoulder. "We've been doing this for a while! Can I go home?"

"No! Not until it's perfect!"

Negi groaned and put his arms back in position. "Magic archer, consecutive blasts, 17 arrows of thunder!"

"I said louder."

"Yes, master."

---

_Cough._

_Blood._

_Pain._

---

"Asuna! Secchan and I are going to leave now!" Konoka yelled from the door.

"All right, you don't have to yell, I was right here." Asuna turned around in her chair away from the desk and faced Konoka.

"Well, I'm going to go now."

"Fine, fine, whatever."

"Are you ready Secchan?"

Setsuna bowed and the two walked out the door.

Asuna smiled as they shut the door and turned back to her work.

---

"_Hold on!"_

---

Asuna was bored.

It had been at least five minutes since Konoka had left, and yet Asuna was already bored to death.

She groaned leaning back in her chair and ended up toppling over. "Ow," she hissed as she landed on the floor.

"Dang chair." Asuna smacked the chair with her hand and ended up hissing in pain as she clutched her hurting hand. "I hate you." Asuna started to have a staring contest with the chair.

And lost.

She flopped back on the floor again, and sat up, scratching her head. "Dang! There's gotta be somethin' around here instead of staring contests with chairs!"

She sighed and got up from the ground, and grabbed her jacket.

Asuna walked out the door.

---

_Cough._

_Blood._

_Pain._

---

Asuna shivered pulling her arms closer to her body. _'Crap! Why is it so cold!?' _Asuna thought, shivering more.

"_**Kagurazaka Asuna."**_

"Wha-?" Asuna turned around, thinking she heard something.

Nothing. Only air.

She shrugged it off turning back to her thoughts.

---

_She shook her head. "It… hurts…"_

---

Negi dragged his feet home. He was so tired. Evangeline was extra hard on him today.

He dragged his feet up the stairs, groaning the whole way. "It wasn't so bad, huh, Aniki?" Chamo popped up from Negi's pocket.

Negi groaned in pain again as his answer.

The ermine sighed, hiding back in the pocket again.

They reached the room.

---

_"D-deal with the p-pain!" _

---

"_**Kagurazaka Asuna."**_

Asuna's eyes widened as she turned around again. "W-who's there?"

"_**Kagurazaka Asuna."**_

Asuna started to run, looking back occasionally for the man, she ran as fast as she could. Which was pretty fast.

But not fast enough.

Asuna fell, and twisted her ankle.

"_**Kagurazaka Asuna."**_

A figure stood over Asuna, pointing something.

"_**Asuna."**_

A gun was fired.

---

_She laughed, her eyes dark, cloudy, not focused. "Deal," she said in a raspy voice, "with… the pain… what… kind words…"_

---

"Asuna… we're back?" Konoka said as she and Setsuna entered the room. "Asuna?"

Just at that moment Negi entered, worn out.

"Negi-kun!" Konoka said as she raced over to him. "Have you seen Asuna?"

The boy looked up and shook his head 'no'. "Why?" he whispered.

"She's not here," Setsuna said, heading over to the two.

Konoka shook her head, and looked at the floor.

Negi looked at the two, forgetting all of his fatigue and pain, he said: "Let's go find her!"

The two nodded.

---

_"Stay here!" He hugged her close. "Live forever! You have to!"_

---

"Asuna-san!"

Nothing.

"Asuna-san!"

Chamo popped up on Negi's shoulder. "Aniki look somewhere else, she's not here."

Negi nodded turning around to look somewhere else.

He walked around, looking everywhere calling out her name for minutes (for Negi it felt like hours) when he finally heard a response.

"Negi…" the voice groaned lightly.

Negi knew that voice anywhere. "Asuna-san!" He looked to his left where he saw her, she lay on the ground. In a pool of blood.

Her own.

"Asuna-san!"

Negi ran next to her and knelt down. "Asuna-san, are you alright?" He looked up and down her body, a bullet wound was implanted in her stomach, blood flowing out. She shook her head no, dazed.

"Does it look like I'm ok?"

Tears filled Negi's eyes.

Negi scooted closer to her, finding her blood-stained hand and grasping it in his.

She showed no sign of noticing.

Her eyes never changed.

She didn't even look at him, her focus was the sky.

"Don't cry, Negi."

Cough.

He held her hand tighter.

"B-but, A-Asuna-s-san…"

"I'm… not worth… crying over…"

Cough.

Blood.

"Stay!"

Tighter.

"No… not… not this time Negi…"

Cough.

Blood.

Pain.

"Hold on!"

Cough.

Blood.

Pain.

She shook her head. "It… hurts…"

"D-deal with the p-pain!"

She laughed, her eyes dark, cloudy, not focused. "Deal," she said in a raspy voice, "with… the pain… what… kind words…"

"Stay here!" He hugged her close. "Live forever! You have to!"

She shook her head. "You're so… clueless…" She laughed darkly.

"I said live forever!"

"Baka."

Cough.

Blood.

Pain.

Death.

"Asuna-san…! ASUNA-SAN!"

He held her hand tighter.

Tears finally spilled from his eyes.

Konoka and Setsuna ran up from behind Negi and stopped when they saw Asuna's dead body.

Konoka froze, and in one swift motion clung onto Setsuna for dear life, crying her eyes out.

Setsuna held onto Konoka, holding in her tears. But pain evident in her eyes.

"ASUNA-SAN!"

Negi landed on top of her, hugging her body close to him.

"Asuna-san…" he said his voice muffled.

"Aniki…" Chamo said, popping out from Negi's pocket and on his shoulder, staring at Asuna, whose eyes were now closed.

"Asuna-san!" Negi wailed his face implanted in Asuna's neck.

"WHY!?"

He still held her hand.

Tighter.

**End**

I know, it's really retarded, but I like it. I mean I don't think it's my best, but I like it. And I'm proud of it! (Tear)

Anyway, Song listened to while writing this!…

The Diary Of Jane-By: Breaking Benjamin

NO FLAMES!

Thank you!

-Emerald-Mask


	2. He Never Cried

Okay, another chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or anything else, so don't think I do. And if you did… well… then you're kinda crazy in the head.

Summary: He still held her hand.

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Tragedy

Parings: Negi/Asuna, Konoka/Setsuna

A/N: …I have nothing to say.

**Tighter**

**Chapter 2: He Never Cried**

"Negi-kun."

"Negi-kun it's time to get up."

Groan.

"Please Negi-kun."

Mumble.

"Negi-kun?"

"Go away."

"Negi-kun, laying in bed forever wont make Asuna come back."

Negi lay in bed or Asuna's bed to be exact, covers over his head, facing the wall. Konoka was trying to get him up to go to Asuna's funeral, but he kept pushing her away.

"Negi-kun…"

"Go away."

Konoka sighed, and put her head down. She looked back up to Negi still in bed a glare evident on her face. "Negi-kun I'm not one to do this but desperate times call for desperate measures…"

Konoka brought her hands up, brought them down on the sheets, curled her fingers, grabbing a hold of them…

And yanked them right off the bed, Negi and all.

Negi fell on the ground rubbing his aching head. Well, he fell on it after all.

"Konoka-san…"

"Negi-kun. Get up."

"Konoka-san, I don't want to."

"And you think I want to see Asuna dead… again?"

"Konoka-san…" Negi complained again.

Konoka shut her eyes, sighing. "I know this is hard for you Negi-kun… but I think Asuna would want us to be there."

"Konoka-san…"

"Now, Negi-kun… please get ready."

Konoka turned around, and walked away, out the door.

---

"_Asuna-san…?"_

---

Konoka waited outside the door with Setsuna next to her, they waited silently. Konoka knew Negi would come out some time… he just needed to think.

Maybe a little longer than she thought.

---

"_Who?"_

---

Negi sat in the middle of the sheets that were strewn on the floor; he stared cold and hard at the wall in front of him.

He didn't want to see Asuna.

It hurt him too much.

He knew if only he had listened to Evangeline… and if only he hadn't complained about his training, she would have finished earlier and let him out sooner, causing him to catch up with Asuna before… before…

Negi shook his head… as if it would erase the memories from his mind.

No, he didn't want to see Asuna.

"…_but I think Asuna would want us to be there."_

Would Asuna really care if Negi went to her funeral?

Negi thought about Asuna.

Smile.

Laugh.

Blood.

_Death._

He was never going to see her again.

Might as well see her one final time.

Negi got up and got ready.

---

"_Asuna-san!" He smiled._

---

Konoka sighed as she got up from the wall and looked at Setsuna. "C'mon Secchan… he's not coming."

"Hai, Ojou-sama."

The two of them started to walk off, Konoka looking at the ground. _'I couldn't get him to come… Asuna… I know you wanted him there… but… I-'_

"Konoka-san…"

Konoka looked behind her to find Negi, in a suit, looking at her with sorrowful eyes.

"Konoka-san… do you still think Asuna-san would want me there?"

"Hai, Negi-kun!"

---

"_I'm sorry… who?"_

---

This was harder than Negi thought.

One look at Asuna and all of his guilt came back, he couldn't take it. His heart was going to burst; Asuna was his best friend at Mahora Academy. She was the first person to ever figure out about his magic… a total stranger that is.

He wasn't going to cry again. All of his tears were dried up. He had no more left to shed, and he wasn't planning on shedding anymore.

He sighed and looked up from Asuna's open coffin to everyone around. Everyone was quiet. No one cried, everyone was wearing black.

Even Ayaka.

Speaking of which, Ayaka walked up to Negi and stood next him… looking down at Asuna's body.

"Heh… who would've thought… she would… go… so… easily…" Ayaka laughed cruelly to herself as she still looked at the body.

"Class Rep-san…?"

Ayaka looked up to Negi. "Hai, Negi-sensei?"

"What was Asuna to you…?"

Ayaka laughed, a small laugh one that only you could here if you stood right next to her. "She was… a friend."

"Class Rep-san…"

"Hai."

"Asuna thought you were friend too."

Ayaka laughed.

Konoka smiled.

Setsuna smiled.

Nodoka talked.

Negi died.

---

_His heart crumbled._

---

It had been five years, ten days, five hours, sixteen minutes, thirty-two seconds, and 2 milliseconds.

Negi was always counting.

Ever since he left the funeral, he had been counting ever since everyone smiled or talked… or laughed…. He had been counting ever since… the shut her up tight, put the lid on and buried her six feet under the ground forever.

And not once while he was counting did he cry.

Five years, ten days, five hours, sixteen minutes, thirty-four seconds, and four milliseconds.

Not once in those years, days, hours, minutes, seconds, and milliseconds… had he cried.

He never shed one tear, just as he promised.

Negi walked down the street of Mahora Academy, he was still going to follow his goal, no matter what, but now his new class wasn't too enthusiastic about him as his old 2-A class had been…

When ever he would teach they would ask… "Springfield-sensei… are you ok?" Or "Springfield-sensei… do you hate us?"

He would never answer.

The now fifteen year-old Negi Springfield sighed. He hung his head low as he walked down the street. His eyes downcast as he looked at the cracks in the ground.

Exactly the same.

He could still see the bloodstains.

_"No… not this time Negi…"_

Those were the five words he hated the most. But the word he hated most of all was…

Negi.

He hated himself.

_Negi_ killed her.

_Negi _was too stupid to do anything except for cry, and complain.

_Negi _was a wimp.

_Negi_ was too young to know what death felt like.

_Negi_ believed he could just say, 'live' and her wound would heal and she would be Asuna again.

It was all _Negi's _fault.

He sighed again, still looking at the ground.

Someone ran into him and knocked him down.

"Oh my! I'm sorry!" The person giggled as they turned around.

Negi's but hurt now, and looked up to the person and growled.

But stopped immediately.

_'Asuna-san…?'_

And there she was, her young self, smiling. _'Negi!' __she had said._

The younger image left and there, stood a much older looking Asuna. It looked as if her hair had grown out more and she still wore her bells in her hair.

"Asuna-san…?"

She put her hand back down, and put a confused look on her face. "Who?"

He knew that face! "Asuna-san!" He smiled. For once in five years he smiled.

"I'm sorry… who?"

His heart crumbled.

"You don't remember… it's me… Negi!" He stood up as she straightened herself.

She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry."

"B-but…"

"I'm sorry if you mistaken me for someone else but… my name is Ruri."

"Ruri-san…"

"Heh… you're funny!"

"Ruri-san… how old are you?"

"How old am I? Well, I'm twenty… why?"

"No reason." _'Twenty,'_ Negi thought, _'that's how old Asuna-san should be if she was still…'_

"Oh! I have to go!"

"Alright. Goodbye."

"Nice meeting you… um…"

"Negi."

"Alright, bye, Negi-kun!" Ruri smiled and ran off.

"Bye… Asu-I mean Ruri-san…"

**End Chapter 2**

There done! Chapter three will be up soon!

Anyway…

Song Listened to

Face Down-By: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

NO FLAMES!

-Emerald-Mask


	3. Teacher

Ah! I'm sorry! I had major writer's block!

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima

A/N: Man, I'm not sure if this is going to be good or not… so deal.

**Tighter**

**Chapter 3: Teacher**

"Springfield-sensei?" Chieri a student of Negi's asked.

"Yes, Chieri-san?"

"Why don't you ever smile?"

Negi's eyes widened.

"_I'm… not worth… crying over…"_

Flash.

"_Stay!"_

Flash.

_She shook her head. "It… hurts…"_

Flash.

_"I said live forever!"_

Flash.

_"ASUNA-SAN!"_

Flash.

"_WHY!?"_

These memories always came back to him. In different ways… but a student had never asked why he never smiled. These memories were never there, it was always the other ones… but these were the most painful. They were the reasons he didn't smile.

"Um, Springfield-sensei… please answer."

"Nothing," Negi mumbled.

---

"_Hello class I'm Kagurazaka-sensei."_

---

"Springfield-sensei… can't you tell us?"

"Stop," he muttered again.

"C'mon Springfield-sensei! We're your students and we deserve a right to know! I mean we want a teacher who smiles and encourages us! We've heard so much about you being such a great teacher, well you aren't living up to your reputation."

Negi snapped.

He slammed his hands down on Chieri's desk and gave her a menacing look all the while yelling: "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS!"

---

_'A-Asuna-san…'_

---

The whole class was quiet. Negi was breathing heavily from his outburst. "It's none of your business."

Five years, twelve days, nine hours, twenty minutes, ten seconds, and five milliseconds.

"G-gomen, Springfield-sensei."

---

_"Hi, Kagurazaka-sensei!"_

---

Negi shut his eyes tight as he pulled himself up from the desk and opened the book back up.

"So, can anyone please repeat the poem?"

---

"Hey, Negi-kun, you hear there's a new teacher coming to our school?"

"Eh."

"I hear she's beautiful."

"Hn…"

"But I also hear she has a temper… wait never mind... that's _my_ _wife_…"

"Aa…"

"But anyway… she's supposed to be very kind."

Mumble.

"So I was wondering since I couldn't show the new teacher around the school… maybe you could."

Grumble.

"Really? Thanks a bunch! Bye, Negi-kun!" And with that the crazy teacher ran out the door.

It took Negi a few seconds to figure out what happened.

"What!?" He shot up, his eyes wide with shock.

---

_'No… it's Ruri-san…'_

---

Five years, thirteen days, eight hours, fifty-three minutes, ten seconds and four milliseconds.

Negi walked through the school; he had to find where class 2-K was crazy preppy girl… not giving him right directions.

Negi looked up from the piece of paper he was holding and to above the door, there he saw a sign that said: "Class 2-K".

He sighed, another girl he had to deal with.

Now, it wasn't that Negi was still afraid of girls, they just thought he was really cute and they'd throw kissy faces at him. He would always back away slowly, and cower in fear. They would also only worry about their hair or make-up or crud like that, and it would really get him annoyed.

But the thing that he disliked most about them was that…

Just one look at one who was in pain… brought all the memories of that night crystal clear in his mind. It was as if it was happening all over again.

He sighed again and opened the door, there he saw the teacher bowing and introducing herself.

"Hello class, I'm Kagurazaka-sensei."

She still bowed.

_'A-Asuna-san…'_

"Hi, Kagurazaka-sensei!"

She stopped bowing and turned him, and smiled.

_'No… it's Ruri-san…'_

"Negi-kun!" Her smile grew wider as she ran over to him and pulled him into the class.

"Everyone say hello to Negi-kun!"

The class stayed silent.

The smile wiped off of Ruri's face. "Why won't anyone say 'hi'?"

A girl stood up and said something. "We know him sensei, and we also know he's supposed to have a cold heart, never smiles."

Ruri looked to Negi confused. "This Negi-kun? Never! I don't believe it!"

"Believe it, sensei, he doesn't smile."

"But… three days ago he smiled! I saw him!"

"Then you've gone crazy sensei." The girl sat back down.

Negi growled. "Don't call her crazy!"

"Hmph, fine, Springfield-sensei."

Ruri giggled and looked over to Negi. "You really didn't have to freak out that much Negi-kun…" She grabbed his hand.

_He still held her hand._

"A-Asuna-san…" Negi bit his lip.

His tears were already dried up, he couldn't cry.

"Mhm?"

"N-nothing."

"Are you going to show me how to get around this school, after school Negi?"

He nodded, and she smiled.

She held his hand.

Tighter.

**End Chapter 3**

Hope you liked it!

Anyway… NO FLAMES!

Preview of Next chapter:

"_She doesn't exist anymore!"_

"_But she does! You are Asuna-san!"_

"_She's gone Negi-kun!"_

"_No she isn't! She's right her standing right in front of me!"_

"_I don't exist anymore Negi, I couldn't handle the pain!"_

-Emerald-Mask


	4. Existing

Final Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Negima

A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the story isn't that long cause it was a oneshot

**Tighter**

**Chapter 4: Existing**

"So, Negi-kun…"

"Hn…"

"Are the students right?"

"Mph."

"Do you never smile?"

"That doesn't concern you."

Ruri stopped him right in the middle of the hallway and looked him straight in the eyes. "Yes it does."

"No. It doesn't."

"Negi-kun! If you're mad about something, let it out!"

"No."

"Negi-kun… if you don't tell someone… it will just hurt more."

"No."

"Negi-kun…"

"No."

"Please Negi-kun… I can help."

"I said no!" Negi snapped. He looked up to Ruri a murderous look in his brown eyes.

She looked down at him wide-eyed. "Negi-kun…"

---

"_She doesn't exist anymore!"_

---

The two walked down the hall in silence. Ruri smiled and sighed, getting all the courage she had and turned towards Negi. "What is this room Negi-kun?"

She pointed to a room with the sign, 'Janitor's closet'.

He groaned. "Look at the sign."

"But I want you to tell me."

He groaned again. "No."

"Please?"

"No."

"What's wrong Negi-kun?"

"Like I would tell you."

She sighed another attempt:

Failed.

---

"_But she does! You are Asuna-san!"_

---

"How about this room Negi."

"Look at the sign."

Ruri sighed again, he was supposed to be showing her around not walking her around.

"Negi-kun?"

"No."

---

"_She's gone Negi-kun!"_

---

"Negi-kun?"

"I said no."

"I know you're sad… and please I know it's painful but if you keep it inside… you'll just hurt more."

"_**Stay! Live forever you have to!"**_

"You know nothing about me."

"Yes I do."

"No."

Ruri stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"I know that you fell in love with someone, a very long time ago."

Negi came to a halt; his eyes went wide before he started to walk again.

Ruri sighed again.

---

"_No she isn't! She's right her standing right in front of me!"_

---

"Tell me." It wasn't a question this time.

It was an order.

Negi hissed. "You can't order me around."

"Yes I can."

"No."

"Why are you so bitter?"

---

"_I don't exist anymore Negi, I couldn't handle the pain!"_

---

His eyes closed tight and he remembered.

Everything.

"_**ASUNA-SAN!"**_

_**Negi landed on top of her, hugging her body close to him.**_

"_**Asuna-san…" he said his voice muffled.**_

"_**Aniki…" Chamo said, popping out from Negi's pocket and on his shoulder, staring at Asuna, whose eyes were now closed.**_

"_**Asuna-san!" Negi wailed his face implanted in Asuna's neck.**_

"_**WHY!?"**_

_**He still held her hand.**_

_**Tighter.**_

"Don't bring that up."

"But why not, you need to let it out."

"I said don't bring it up!" he hissed.

"You won't let anyone in will you?"

"No!"

"But… you would let her in…"

"Leave me alone!"

"No. Negi-kun, I'm just as stubborn as you are, and right now, I want to know."

"Fine!" Negi spun around on his heals and glared at her. "Do you want to know why I'm like this? Do you?"

She stared at him with the same intensity. "Yes."

"It's because she wouldn't live forever!" he screamed.

"No, no one does Negi-kun."

"And now, now she's right here and she doesn't even remember me. All the things we've been through!"

"She doesn't exist anymore Negi-kun," Ruri told him.

"And then she claims to know me! And yet she wants to know why I'm mad!"

Ruri snapped.

"She doesn't exist anymore!"

He hissed. "But she does! You are Asuna-San!"

"She's gone Negi-kun!"

"No she isn't! She's right her standing right in front of me!" He pocked at her shoulder.

"I don't exist anymore Negi, I couldn't handle the pain!"

He brought his hand back, and stared at her wide-eyed.

"But… but… you're… you're right here… I can see you… and feel you…" He touched her hand with his own and held it, squeezing it tightly.

She shook her head. "No Negi-kun."

"But… but…"

"I died. Five years ago."

"No you didn't! You're right here!" he screamed.

"No… I'm your imagination."

"What… but… I'm… I'm not…"

"I'm here to help you."

"What?"

"You could have saved me…"

"But I didn't! You must hate me!"

"I'm going to give you another chance."

"What…?"

"You can save me."

"But… but you cant change the past!"

"Who wrote that law?"

"Well… I… I…"

She smiled. "Negi, I'm giving you another chance to save Asuna… do you want that chance…?"

He sighed.

"No."

She smiled wider. "And why not."

"Because… it wasn't my fault… and I cant save something… it already happened… it's not right to change the past because I want it to change."

"But… just think of a life with Asuna…"

"No. I don't want to think about it. She's gone. I need to…"

"Need to what?"

"…Accept that."

"Is it easy?"

He slammed his eyes shut. "No. Its not."

"I'm glad."

His eyes shot open.

"Negi-kun, you took Asuna for granted, you though she would live forever, thought she would always be here… but what did it feel like when she left?"

He shut his eyes again. "Horrible."

"Don't take anything for granted anymore Negi-kun."

"But… I…"

"You can wake up now."

"What."

"Negi…?"

Ruri and everything was fading.

"Negi…?"

"Hey…"

"Negi, you brat get up!"

Negi opened his eyes all the way and looked up to who was yelling at him. "A-Asuna-san…?"

"The one and only. Now, get out of bed, you need to get ready, I let you sleep in."

"Asuna-san?" He shot up eyes fully open.

"Yes, what's up with you?"

He smiled, tears welling up in his eyes. "Asuna-san!" He jumped onto her and hugged her his arms wrapped around her waist.

"What is up with you?"

"I wont take you for granted anymore, I appreciate you. I know you're here."

"You've gone crazy Negi."

The tears spilled form his eyes and soaked onto her shirt and rolled down his cheeks. "Don't ever leave me again."

"I just went to go do my job."

"Don't leave!"

"Ok, I wont. I promise now, get ready."

She tried to pry him off but he wouldn't budge.

He just held her…

Tighter.

**End**

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed.

NO FLAMES!

-Emerald-Mask


End file.
